Are you talking too much?

A financial advisor once told me about his young colleague, who, he said, had the gift of the gab. “He can talk himself through the front door … but unfortunately he often finds himself out through the back door without noticing it.”

What is the young man’s problem?

It is definitely easier to sell when you talk well, and a good idea to join a speaking club, such as Toastmasters, to polish your quick thinking and fluent speaking skills if you don’t talk well, but if you just talk and you never stop to listen to your client’s needs and requirements, you might also find yourself out in the street before you know it.

How do you listen to a client – especially when you have to sell?

Those who let the client speak are the best sales people. They ask open-ended questions and listen to answers – and they listen carefully with their whole bodies, minds and hearts to find out what the client’s real needs are.

Often clients will say they want one thing and then don’t want it anymore when you offer it to them. Or they might want one thing and settle for something totally different. Why does that happen?

People buy with their hearts and not their minds. They might need one thing but settle for something they want – and the only way you will be able to find that out is by listening. People don’t buy features. They buy benefits – the things they want for their own reasons.

How do you find it out? By listening.

How should one listen? The answer is simple: With your whole body, your eyes, ears, mind and heart. When you listen with all your faculties focused on the speaker and what he says and doesn’t say, only then will you be in tune with his real desire and will you be able to fill that gap between what he has, what he needs and what he wants.

So, our advice to the young broker is: Let your client do the talking and he’ll talk himself into buying your product.

For more information on workshops, specifically aimed at listening skills and other narrative methods to build relationships, please contact Prose&Coms, at: susan@prosecoms.co.za http://businessnarratives.blogspot.com

This blog appears as a regular column the Afridevelopment newsletter for small business owners. http://afrid.co.za/cms/index.php

Are you really listening?

What does the act of listening mean to you?

Is it the short pause when you take a breath and allow someone else to get a word in, just to interrupt him again to tell your story? Or is it an act to analyse what the other person is saying so that you can catch him out, prove him wrong, or contribute to the conversation? Or are you not listening at all … continuing with what you were doing while the other person talks to you?

You might have heard or even said the words: “Don’t interrupt, just listen to me!”  Or you might ask people why they haven’t told you how they felt. Perhaps they tried to, but you never listened.

Many of us have taken courses in active listening, which means looking the other person in the eyes while he or she is talking, showing your  interest in the way you hold your body, nodding in agreement and making little agreeing sounds, and asking clarifying questions. But even this is not genuine listening.

Then what is genuine listening?

Genuine listening is an act of respect. It is focusing your attention entirely on the person who is telling his story – without interrupting to agree, disagree or ask questions. It is about giving another person the space to let hurts, thoughts, ideas, or worries flow from him, to open up space for new thinking.

True listening is therapeutic. Often a person doesn’t need advice, just the chance to talk: while sharing concerns, fears or doubts, his mind clears and solutions enter the space that was emptied.

By just listening and doing nothing else, you can help to transform negative attitudes into positive ones.  By listening, you can influence people much more than by telling them what to believe.

True listening is much more powerful “telling them”, when you want to influence people, because when you truly listen without judgement to a person voicing his or her uncertainties or anger, you give them permission to sort these feelings out by themselves.

When and to whom do you need to listen?

Always, and to everybody you care about. If you are a parent or a spouse, you can positively influence relationships when you start to listen genuinely. If you are an employer, genuinely listening to the concerns or ideas of your employees will make a difference in their attitudes. If you are a salesman, genuinely listening to and acknowledging your prospective client’s needs or uncertainties can mean the difference between making or losing the sale.

Anyone listening out there?

For more information on workshops, specifically aimed at listening skills and other narrative methods to build relationships, please contact Prose&Coms, at: susan@prosecoms.co.za

This blog appears as a regular column the Afridevelopment newsletter for small businesses owners. http://afrid.co.za/cms/index.php