Punctuation power tools

Punctuation marks are the power tools of writing. Unfortunately, most people don’t know how to use them, and their punctuation errors are displayed for all and sundry to see. Just look around you for the misuse of the apostrophe (nicknamed “the greengrocer’s apostrophe”) on black boards, billboards and on menus: “Banana’s, pawpaw’s and potato’s – half-price today!”, one black board might announce, while the Italian restaurant around the corner might be selling “pizza’s”, the music store “dvd’s and cd’s” and the second-hand bookstore might proudly spell out: “book’s galore”. My all-time horror is to read “it’s” where it should be written “its”. So, please bear with me for a short lesson in punctuation.

What’s wrong with the examples above?

Ah, the apostrophe. The apostrophe is never used in English to indicate a plural form of a noun. That means bananas, pawpaws and potatoes, as well as pizzas, DVDs, CDs and books are all spelled without an apostrophe. And “it’s” means: it is. “It’s” doesn’t indicate the possessive form. To give an example: “The dog wags its tail” means the dog has a tail which it wags. The tail belongs to the dog. This sentence can never be written as: “The dog wags it’s tail.”

Then, just as one thinks one should follow Lynne Truss’s proposal in Eats, Shoots and Leaves to go around with an eraser or some correction fluid to correct the punctuation errors all around one, one finds an example of a word that should contain an apostrophe and it doesn't!

Have you ever passed a “mens toilet” or a “ladies hairdresser”, or had an appointment at the “doctors rooms”? (The correct way of writing them is obviously: men’s toilet, ladies’ hairdresser and doctors’ rooms (if there is more than one doctor at the consultancy, otherwise it would be: doctor’s room.)

If you don’t know how to use punctuation marks effectively, enrol for a grammar or business writing course or buy yourself a good style guide such as The Oxford Style Manual, which explains the use of punctuation in writing in detail. Keep it in the office and consult it regularly. It is amazing how much one can learn about writing just by looking up the grammar rules.

If you want to learn about punctuation and be entertained at the same time, buy yourself the book by Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves - it is delightful to read, well researched and a good book to have on your bookshelf.


This blog appears as a regular column the Afridevelopment newsletter for small business owners. http://afrid.co.za/cms/index.php

Waka waka oooeeeeeeh: This time for Africa!

Today was the kick-off of the 2010 World Cup, with Bafana Bafana and Mexico sweating it out to finish 1-1. Well done to the teams. What a great start!

As one of the many restaurant dwellers, who sat more than double the time it would usually take on the highway to reach my destination, I had lots of time to reflect and watch my fellow travelers on their way to support our team.

All around me vuvuzela’s were braying like lonely donkeys at the break of dawn, everytime we had to stand and wait for yet another traffic light to turn green.

I saw groups of people – standing on the streets – not rushing anywhere, some joining the blaring noise coming from the cars. I saw people in cars, smiling at each other: whites, blacks, coloureds, Indians – the whole lot of us giving one another the heads up, because the time was here, at last: The 2010 World Cup has arrived in Johannesburg.

Yesterday’s traffic jams in Sandton was behind us. Today’s traffic jams just resulted in pulling up of the shoulders and a shrug: What did you expect, Sista, Bra? It’s World Cup and our team is playing! Be happy and sing da song: Waka waka, oeeeeeehh. Tsamina mina eh eh.

We ordered our food, plus an additional order: One goal for Bafana. The waiter said: “we don’t have “one goal” on the menu, Sir.” Our friend said: “Just write it down and bring it with the food.”

Waka waka oeeehoee, you’re a good soldier!

Just as the food arrived, the goal was placed neatly into the nets.

“We did it! You asked for it! We did it! I wrote it down!”

Never before had I seen a waiter serving food with so much gusto. He did it too! By being a waiter, and serving the food with the attitude of sharing: Waka Waka oeeehoee, we do it for Africa.

And never before had I enjoyed a meal as much as this.

Never before was there such a feeling of oneness between us and the rest of the guests (who brayed their vuvuzelas evertime Bafana got the ball), the waitrons and the restaurant staff.

We were all together. This time for Africa. We’re all Africa!

STOP SHOUTING AT YOUR CUSTOMER!!!!

Over the past few weeks we touched on using oral communication skills to communicate better with colleagues and employees, as well as with clients and other stakeholders in our businesses. The important thing to remember is that every business is in the business of building relationships, whether it is in manufacturing of goods, import and export, sales or services, and every employee in the business’s main task is to service his or her internal or external customers efficiently.

This week we move to written communication and look at how we could build relationships or break them in the way we write our e-mail messages.

Contrary to what many people believe, the way you write says a lot about who you are as a person. Do you write short, abrupt messages? Starting an e-mail without addressing the recipient, or just starting with: “Hi” and no name?

What does that say about the writer? Is it respectful to address someone in speaking without using his name? Why would it be different in writing?

Imagine the following scenario: Someone enters the office, and says “hi”, or doesn’t address anyone at all, sits down and starts to work, and then suddenly barks out a request or command: “Give me the file on client X!” How would you feel? Irritated? If you were a subordinate, wouldn’t you feel that your boss or colleague didn’t respect you? And if you were the boss? How would you react?

Change the scenario: You are the client and you receive a note via e-mail from your service provider saying: “Your invoice hasn’t been paid and your service will be discontinued without any further notice.” Put yourself in the shoes of the client and ask yourself: How does he or she feel? What if the payment had been made and the mistake was on our system? Would the client want to do further business with us?

Just by changing the addressing and ending of an e-mail and by planning the message carefully, one can make a change in the way a reader responds to the message.

Below are a few tips on writing email.

10 Tips for Writing Better E-mail
1. Always write a subject in the subject line of the e-mail message. If you don’t, chances are your e-mail will be moved to junk mail automatically, or be deleted by the recipient.
2. Address the recipient, e.g. Hi Pete; Or: Dear Mr Peters
3. End your e-mail in a respectful manner by ending the message and adding your name and designation: Thank you; or: Thank you very much for your assistance; Or: Kind regards; Or: Yours sincerely.
4. Never write in capital letters only: YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT IF PEOPLE WERE ALWAYS SHOUTING AT YOU, WOULD YOU! Capital letters indicate shouting when we write. (In any case, it is so much more difficult to read that half of your message might be lost without the reader noticing the most important part of it.)
5. Don’t use IM grammar and spelling: Gr8 is great to use for your cell phone messages but not for e-mail. E-mail is a fairly formal communication medium – especially when you use it for work.
6. Watch out for THREE EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!. It shows hysteria – you are screaming uncontrollably, not just shouting at your customer or colleague. If combined with all capital letters, it is the kind of e-mail one just deletes without reading it.
7. Another punctuation horror is the exclamation mark combined with the question mark (?!) or (!?????). In literature one question mark and one exclamation mark are used in combination for very specific reasons – and very sparsely. Unfortunately, the duplication of punctuation marks for greater effect is overused in e-mail – and has therefore lost its meaning.
8. Don’t use smiley faces and avatars in your business e-mail. You might be considered unprofessional.
9. Watch out for pretty backgrounds – they don’t belong in business e-mail.
10. Read through every e-mail and make sure that you actually say what you intend to say. It is very easy to misunderstand someone’s intent by reading between the lines if an e-mail is not planned and written properly.

Adagio 2000 by Gary Bardin

Are you talking too much?

A financial advisor once told me about his young colleague, who, he said, had the gift of the gab. “He can talk himself through the front door … but unfortunately he often finds himself out through the back door without noticing it.”

What is the young man’s problem?

It is definitely easier to sell when you talk well, and a good idea to join a speaking club, such as Toastmasters, to polish your quick thinking and fluent speaking skills if you don’t talk well, but if you just talk and you never stop to listen to your client’s needs and requirements, you might also find yourself out in the street before you know it.

How do you listen to a client – especially when you have to sell?

Those who let the client speak are the best sales people. They ask open-ended questions and listen to answers – and they listen carefully with their whole bodies, minds and hearts to find out what the client’s real needs are.

Often clients will say they want one thing and then don’t want it anymore when you offer it to them. Or they might want one thing and settle for something totally different. Why does that happen?

People buy with their hearts and not their minds. They might need one thing but settle for something they want – and the only way you will be able to find that out is by listening. People don’t buy features. They buy benefits – the things they want for their own reasons.

How do you find it out? By listening.

How should one listen? The answer is simple: With your whole body, your eyes, ears, mind and heart. When you listen with all your faculties focused on the speaker and what he says and doesn’t say, only then will you be in tune with his real desire and will you be able to fill that gap between what he has, what he needs and what he wants.

So, our advice to the young broker is: Let your client do the talking and he’ll talk himself into buying your product.

For more information on workshops, specifically aimed at listening skills and other narrative methods to build relationships, please contact Prose&Coms, at: susan@prosecoms.co.za http://businessnarratives.blogspot.com

This blog appears as a regular column the Afridevelopment newsletter for small business owners. http://afrid.co.za/cms/index.php

Are you really listening?

What does the act of listening mean to you?

Is it the short pause when you take a breath and allow someone else to get a word in, just to interrupt him again to tell your story? Or is it an act to analyse what the other person is saying so that you can catch him out, prove him wrong, or contribute to the conversation? Or are you not listening at all … continuing with what you were doing while the other person talks to you?

You might have heard or even said the words: “Don’t interrupt, just listen to me!”  Or you might ask people why they haven’t told you how they felt. Perhaps they tried to, but you never listened.

Many of us have taken courses in active listening, which means looking the other person in the eyes while he or she is talking, showing your  interest in the way you hold your body, nodding in agreement and making little agreeing sounds, and asking clarifying questions. But even this is not genuine listening.

Then what is genuine listening?

Genuine listening is an act of respect. It is focusing your attention entirely on the person who is telling his story – without interrupting to agree, disagree or ask questions. It is about giving another person the space to let hurts, thoughts, ideas, or worries flow from him, to open up space for new thinking.

True listening is therapeutic. Often a person doesn’t need advice, just the chance to talk: while sharing concerns, fears or doubts, his mind clears and solutions enter the space that was emptied.

By just listening and doing nothing else, you can help to transform negative attitudes into positive ones.  By listening, you can influence people much more than by telling them what to believe.

True listening is much more powerful “telling them”, when you want to influence people, because when you truly listen without judgement to a person voicing his or her uncertainties or anger, you give them permission to sort these feelings out by themselves.

When and to whom do you need to listen?

Always, and to everybody you care about. If you are a parent or a spouse, you can positively influence relationships when you start to listen genuinely. If you are an employer, genuinely listening to the concerns or ideas of your employees will make a difference in their attitudes. If you are a salesman, genuinely listening to and acknowledging your prospective client’s needs or uncertainties can mean the difference between making or losing the sale.

Anyone listening out there?

For more information on workshops, specifically aimed at listening skills and other narrative methods to build relationships, please contact Prose&Coms, at: susan@prosecoms.co.za

This blog appears as a regular column the Afridevelopment newsletter for small businesses owners. http://afrid.co.za/cms/index.php

Know your communication style

Communication, or more precisely, effective communication, lies at the foundation of healthy relationships. Now what makes communication either effective or ineffective?

To illustrate what happens when communication breaks down, let’s look at a possible work-related scenario:

Morris is the general manager at Livewire, a small but busy consultancy. He is under pressure to get a proposal out to a prospective client, and is at the same time preparing for an important meeting with Mojo, a current client, to save a relationship that had gone sour when one of Livewire’s young consultants was perceived as being unapproachable and arrogant.

Earlier the morning, Morris asked this same junior consultant to type up his notes and write the proposal, and it came back for his approval just before his meeting with Mojo - riddled with typos and grammar errors. After making a few corrections, he chucked down the proposal on the consultant’s desk, saying over his shoulder, while he rushed out: “Your spelling is atrocious. And check the grammar. There’s a style guide in my office – use it. I made notes on the side, please affect them. Have it ready by 5 – I’m off to see Mojo to rescue our contract after last week’s incident.”

Anything wrong with this? Morris said clearly what he wanted, by when and how to improve the piece of work. To his mind, he communicated effectively. He didn’t mean to insult the consultant or to tell her that she was inefficient, he just said that she had to correct errors on an important document and be more careful with her grammar.  But why did the consultant cry? And why did she sulk for the rest of the afternoon and went home with a headache and a firm resolution to find another job?

Effective communication implies that a message has been given clearly and understood correctly by the receiver of that message. If this doesn’t happen, the verbal and non-verbal communication did not deliver the intended meaning appropriately.

Without going into a long discussion about “my requirements” versus “your requirements” and how to “get what I want” while “giving you what you want”, we can identify one of the major reasons for the breakdown in communication as our preferred styles of communication that often get in the way of effective communication. 

If Morris had had a better understanding of his staff member’s communication style, he might have changed his manner of speaking to ensure the correct transfer of the message. If, on the other hand, the consultant had not felt guilty or defensive about the previous week’s incident, she might not have taken his brusqueness personally. Or, perhaps this breakdown in communication is a regular issue between Morris and the consultant – and a similar misunderstanding might even have caused the incident of the previous week.

So, what is the solution?

This example is grounded in a specific situation, but it happens so often that misunderstandings cause a rift in relationships, that it is worth our while to invest in improving our communication skills.

Tip of the week: How to communicate effectively

Find out what your preferred style is. If you had done the exercise in the previous post, you might be able to point out incidents where communication had broken down because of a misunderstanding of intention. Why did that happen? Do you know? Can you put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand the misunderstood message from his or her perspective?

Most communication experts distinguish between four styles of communication, but tag them differently. For the sake of simplicity, we will refer to the communication styles as: Creator, Doer, Listener and Thinker. On the extroverted side, we get: The Creator and The Doer. On the introverted side, we get: The Listener and The Thinker.

Listeners, who are generally not very assertive, often get into conflict with Doers, and vice versa. If the Listener can focus more on definite actions and less on personal relationships, he or she can change a potential conflict situation into a meaningful conversation, while, if the Doer just counts to 10 before responding and shows more of his or her feelings, the Listener will understand the message and be able to respond better.

Creators are often very intense in their enthusiasm and tend to irritate Thinkers, who like to ponder on the detail and the processes, and vice versa. So Creators can do well to slow down a bit to listen to what the Thinker has to say because the Thinker’s input is often of great value. Thinkers, on the other hand, can try to move faster and leave the detail for later. They can also try to show more concern for human relationships.

Now where do YOU lie on the matrix?  Take a quick (free) quiz on http://www.asme.org/Jobs/Manage/Whats_Communication_Style.cfm to see your preferred style – and then work at your relationships.

For more information on workshops, specifically aimed at getting your message across effectively in diverse teams, please contact Prose&Coms, at: susan@prosecoms.co.za

This blog appears as a regular column the Afridevelopment newsletter for small businesses owners. http://afrid.co.za/cms/index.php